The truth about romantic relationships

“The sh*t WILL hit the fan!”

No matter who you’re with, or how much you love them.
Sooner or later, there will be pain and challenge…
And have you noticed, how you show your WORST to the ones you love the MOST?

Marianne Williamson was emphatic in her recent talk in London.

She shared many truths, sadly, all too familiar for everyone in the audience.

Early on, she pointed out our existential angst.

The belief we’re separate, incomplete.
Up against a hostile world.
Not good enough.
Hoping to meet a special someone to complete us and make us feel good about ourselves, loved, at last…

This, in a nutshell, is the faulty foundation of most romantic relationships.

The realization that nobody can fill the gaping hole inside adds to our accumulated trauma, our personal and collective histories of pain and dysfunction.

The truth is, most relationships face challenges, after an initial “honeymoon” period. Without the right resources, the problems escalate. Sooner or later, there’s a crisis.

Unless we do something to change the unsound underpinnings of our romantic relationships, our options are limited.

We may:

  • compromise in order to stay in the relationship (but intimacy suffers, as does our integrity, happiness and contentment)
  • leave the relationship (and repeat the cycle with the next partner)
  • keep it casual (and feel emptier and emptier inside)
  • avoid relationship and intimacy altogether (and suffer alone).

It’s a dire situation…is there a way out?

Marianne and I are in agreement: the way out is the way of Spirit.

Psychological tools and communication skills can help, but it’s a deeper truth that sets us free.

The way to transform the pain and transcend our own limitations, is to remember our spiritual nature.
Our interconnectedness with everyone and everything.
The love that already resides within.

This is how we begin the process of peeling away what is not true, to reveal the true Self: perfect, whole, complete.

“While it’s many things to many people, rarely is romance the caricature we see portrayed in consumer advertising. It is grittier and more potentially painful than a picture of lovers walking the beach would indicate…Like everything else, it is finding its spiritual element. It is rising up to meet us at the level of who we really are.

Viewed spiritually, romance is, in its divine essence, a temple space. It is one of God’s laboratories, a mode of spiritual transformation. It is, when held in this way, a sacred opportunity for souls to jump past the confines of the narrow self, to take quantum leaps forward into new and uncharged emotional possibilities.

There love corners us, putting a mirror up to our faces and demanding that we surrender:
surrender the hurt, surrender the past, surrender the walls, surrender the blame, surrender the defenses, surrender the limits, surrender the fear…

Love is not a game for sissies.” ~ Marianne Williamson, foreword to “Dear Lover” by David Deida.

Sacred relating requires courage and commitment.

You’ll be meeting each other Soul to Soul, in readiness for that deeper truth, striving to embody and express more of the love that you are.

No more attracting the “wrong” person, broken relationships or eternal loneliness.

As you establish your personal practice, then create a sacred container together with your partner, you can start to:

  • heal wounds and release fear
  • experience yourself freer, more loving and strong
  • share deep intimacy, unconditional love and acceptance
  • relate and co-create from a place of wholeness and integrity.

It is true, some relationships will reach a natural end: even Soul Mate relationships are not all for life.

No matter what the journey looks like, when we follow our Soul’s calling, there’s unmistakable expansion: more love, more depth, more freedom than before.

The sh*t will still hit the fan, but you’ll have the container to transform your experience and grow into more of who you truly are.

I wonder:

  • what’s your experience of relationship?
  • what challenges have you had to face?
  • what are your biggest breakthroughs?
  • are you familiar with sacred sexuality/sacred relating practices?
  • would you like to learn more?

Please write and share: I’d love to hear from you!

Love & blessings,





P.S. Following the success of last month’s talks for Funzing, I’ve been invited to offer them again:

“What do your dreams mean?” explores dreams and dream work, especially shamanic practices for psychological and spiritual healing and growth, as well as to manifest desired outcomes. The talk takes place on Thursday, 20th July, 7:30pm. Read more and register here.

“Tantric Sex: Is it for me?” explains the main Tantric principles and paths, and how Tantra and the practice of sacred sexuality can enhance your life and relationships. The talk takes place on Wednesday, 2nd August, 7:30pm. Read more and register here.

“I found the talk genuine, as Elena shared her personal experiences without reserve. It is the authenticity and sincerity that propel my curiosity towards a desire to know even more!” ~ Huiwen

P.P.S. Talks and workshops are valuable introductions, but the deep work happens in one-to-one sessions.

I work with men and women, singles and couples, in London and remotely, by phone or Skype.

If you find yourself on a journey of self-discovery, wishing to heal, open to more love and realize more of your potential, I’m here for you: contact me to arrange a free Discovery session.