Romantic vs. True Love (or the edge of Tantric sexuality)

Updated: 12th July 2017

Was it true love?

You’ve probably asked yourself the question in moments of doubt.
After a break-up, or when you realize you’ve fallen out of love.

When asked about the Buddhist approach to romantic love, Thich Nhat Hanh chose instead to speak about true love—which includes romantic love.

According to this teaching, the four elements of true love are as follows:

1. Maitri – Loving-Kindness. The way you treat each other, offering the gift of happiness.
2. Karuna – Compassion. The capacity to understand each other’s suffering and also a kind of energy that helps to transform and remove it.
3. Mudita – Joy. Your joy is your partner’s joy and vice versa. If your “love” causes pain and tears, it may not be true love.
4. Upeksha – Inclusiveness. Your partner’s suffering is your own and vice versa. There is no separation, no barrier between you. If your love is true, it will continue to grow and include more people, nature, everything. This is the Great Love.

Here’s Thich Nhat Hanh’s complete answer to the question:

How’s that for an answer? Satisfied?

I’m not.

I mean, it’s a wonderful definition. It points to the kind of love we’d all do well to cultivate in all our relationships.

It’s a great attitude to life as a whole, in fact.

But something is missing.

If we’re looking at romantic love, sexuality ought to be in there somewhere, surely!

You might just leave out sexual attraction and desire (it’s one way of avoiding a whole host of complications!), but I, personally, do like the idea of a true, romantic love that is integrated with sexuality.

Tantra has the edge here: a path that integrates love and sexuality.

Tantra offers us a way of embracing the totality of our expression, loving and sexual, integrating and elevating both to the highest degree.

Tantric loving is immensely creative and all-encompassing. Also very orgasmic, in the broadest sense. Ecstatic. Transcendent.

Sexuality is seen as an expression of our creative life force, an energy that we can harness to power all of our creations—including, but not limited, to relationships.

How about that for an attitude to life as a whole?

Your turn now:

  • How do you define true love?
  • Is romantic love different, in your experience?
  • Are you enjoying true, romantic AND sexual love in your relationship? Would you like to?

Please write and share: I’d love to hear from you!

And join us this Friday, 19th May for an evening of Soul Mate Connections in London.

We’ll be cultivating the joyful aspects of connection, especially, also developing empathy and inspiring each other to shine more brightly and confidently, being ourselves.

Expect the winning formula of music, dance, guided exchange, and there’s an option to drink Ceremonial Cacao for an extra boost to the delicious, heart-opening effect.

Click here to book your place.

See you soon!

Love & blessings,





P.S. There are a few more events coming up, as you can see on my Events calendar:

“What do your dreams mean?” on Thursday, 20th July, 7pm, exploring ancient and modern understanding of dreams and their importance, as well as shamanic dream work practices that you can use to improve your health and well-being, material success, relationships and more.

“Introduction to Tantric Sex” on Wednesday, 2nd August, 7pm, looking at fundamental Tantric principles and practices that you can apply to enhance your experience of sex and relationship.

Both are in central London, organised by Funzing. Check them out!

P.P.S. If you’d like to upgrade your experience of relationship and intimacy, especially by applying Tantric principles and practices, private coaching is the way forward.

Private sessions allow us to address your specific interests and goals, as well as any blocks and limitations you’re experiencing, in the best way for you.

E-mail me, or call me on 07576 366197 to discuss a bespoke solution to your relationship issues.

You deserve the best in life and love, and I’ll be delighted to help you have just that!