Updated: 18th June 2018
Are you in a committed, monogamous relationship?
Would you like to be?
Do you imagine it will be successful?
Is it successful?
I was pondering these questions, when I came across a polyamorist view of monogamy that resonated.
The author proposes that, despite downsides and complications, polyamory represents a more natural expression of human sexuality, whereas monogamy is a more evolved expression.
The problem is that we practise—or try to practise—monogamy unconsciously, following the social norms without recognizing we’ve signed up for a big evolutionary leap.
Without awareness, skills and resources, monogamous relationships become strained and most fail in some way.
Michael McDonald writes:
“How most people practice monogamy is a form of anxious attachment, using monogamy to ‘fix’ their fears, to ‘get’ love and support from the outside because they don’t think they are whole on the inside. Unconscious monogamy is based on expectations instead of agreements. It lacks the distinctions and positivity and naturalness of polyamory. It is focused on security instead of possibility.
Conscious monogamy is where both the natural and the unnatural aspects of monogamy are embraced. Conscious monogamy is a consciously chosen and co-created relationship structure, a container, to encourage more personal and relational growth. It’s turning up the heat on evolution.
Conscious monogamy is a long-term transformational workshop.”
I couldn’t agree more.
It’s important to recognize that the evolutionary imperative and our desire for wholeness underpins EVERY type of relationship—every human endeavour, for that matter.
We constantly strive to fulfil ourselves. To feel whole and complete.
Whatever relationship model or style of sexual expression this translates as, the danger is always the same: that we get to play out the same unconscious patterns, come up against our wounds and shadow aspects over and over again, all whilst imagining we will be whole and complete when we unite with the One (or the multitude of people) out there.
In truth, completion is found within.
We set the foundations for successful relationships by committing to our own healing and integration—physical, mental, emotional, spiritual.
As we heal wounds and remove blocks, we are able to enjoy intimate relationships that are true art forms, pinnacles of our creative human expression.
Is there a smart choice?
Everything begins with you.
If you’d like to live and love your fullest, check out my upcoming webinar:
“Your Life and Love: Clear your Energy, Align with your Soul Purpose, Elevate your Relationships” on Saturday, 7th July, 4pm (UK)
- discover what is blocking you, causing confusion and limiting your happiness and success in life
- learn how you can embrace sacred sexuality to elevate your experience of relationship and power your creations
- experience a unique form of healing to catalyze and support your authentic Self expression in all the ways that truly matter — and reap the benefits!
The webinar includes LIVE Q&A and a chance to be on the HOT SEAT for on-the-spot transformation.
If you can’t join the live broadcast, register below to receive the replay. You may also send in your questions prior to the webinar, then listen for answers in the replay.
See you soon!
Love and blessings,
P.S. Would you prefer to have a private chat? Get in touch to discuss private coaching options.
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