The holidays are over.
And I bet you’ve got some New Year resolutions staring you in the face.
If you’re right on track, enjoying every moment of the new YOU unfolding, that’s just AWESOME and please write and share your story, so I can celebrate with you!
If it’s not smooth sailing right now (and I think I speak for the majority of us here), here are some of the main reasons why:
1. New Year resolutions often mask self-rejection and a feeling of “I’m not enough”.
I’m not enough, if I don’t lose weight.
I’m not enough, if my sex life is what it is.
I’m not enough, if I don’t have more money / more time / more success…
Muster all the willpower in the world, try as hard as you like: the part of you that longs for unconditional love and acceptance will not play ball.
2. New Year resolutions signal change, and change is scary.
Underneath the resolve, you’re afraid of the unknown. You’re afraid of success. You’re afraid of failure.
What if there’s a price to pay? Losses suffered?
There is safety in familiarity, and that’s one of the main causes of resistance to change — conscious or unconscious — even in cases where the familiar is unpleasant or positively painful.
3. We’re hardwired to form habits: mental, emotional, behavioural.
It may serve to function automatically and habitually in certain contexts, but we’re susceptible to all manners of conditioning, not all of which is conducive to our happiness.
Patterns of thought, feeling and behaviour can be so deeply engrained in our neurophysiology, they’re really hard to shake off.
The idea of
- taking up exercise
- showing up differently in your relationship
- reinventing yourself in some way
may seem logical, desirable and straightforward enough, but if you’ve established incongruent habits of thought, emotion and behaviour over time, the process of change may be very challenging to your system.
Are you feeling consistently angry / sad / lonely / anxious / misunderstood?
This could be a clue that you’re running a conditioned response.
If that is the case and your neural pathways and body chemistry conspire to preserve your habitual emotional state, even a small change, on the face of things, may feel like a gigantic undertaking.
Add it all up and you have a process that’s tough to sustain — which brings us to the next point.
4. Change is a process of transformation.
When we formulate our New Year resolutions, we tend to focus on the end result, without fully appreciating the uncomfortable process of transformation involved in attaining it.
We have to die to our old ways, in order to emerge anew.
Like the caterpillar that turns into mush, before the new organism takes shape, we have to dissolve established structures, as we create new ones.
We challenge our character, in the process of building a new one.
It’s a messy, unpalatable process.
Yes, there’s such a thing as incremental change and taking small steps towards a lofty goal.
Yes, it’s a good idea to stretch your comfort zone gently.
Yes, best not to bite off more than you can chew.
At the same time, I can think of no worthy cause, no deep Soul calling that has not required a leap of faith and surrender at some point.
I don’t imagine the caterpillar has a lot of willpower, or knows exactly what the plan is, as it digests itself into a pulp.
The caterpillar doesn’t recognise the imaginal cells that lead its metamorphosis as its own, and tries to eat them up as well!
Inevitably, pulled by the seeds of its own becoming, the caterpillar fulfills its destiny, and transforms into a gorgeous butterfly.
Now it can fly!
Thinking of your own transformation:
Your New Year resolutions are more likely to succeed, if they’re founded on self-love and acceptance.
It serves to be guided by inner wisdom and to act with loving intent towards the Self. Start with self-care and nurture. Love yourself no matter what. Challenge yourself compassionately.
There’s great power in committing to the process of letting go.
Let go of what does not serve you any more, what is not in alignment with who you really are.
When you surrender to your true, authentic nature, you will discover new resources of strength and energy. Dedicate your efforts to your self-expression and creative unfolding.
“Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.” ~ Rumi
It serves to trust in a higher order, and to have faith in your own ability and benevolence.
Instead of pushing hard to make progress, attempting to exert control, and exhausting your willpower and life force in the process, listen for your Soul’s deep yearning instead: what qualities and gifts wish to express through you?
Connect heart and mind as you pursue your aspirations, so that you are more peaceful and balanced, and act in ways that are not harmful to yourself or anyone else.
Engage your emotions and imagination to change your inner world.
Believe that your destiny is one of love, joy, peace, wholeness… Feel it, imagine it, embody it.
Meditation, visualisation, shamanic processes, hypnosis — all help to shift mental, emotional and behavioural patterns, and are now understood better scientifically also in relation to the nervous system and neuroplasticity.
Science and spirituality agree on this now: inner change leads to outer transformation.
Seek supportive environments, and surround yourself with people who encourage and affirm the new You in the making.
Healing and transformation modalities, such as those I’ve mentioned, greatly facilitate the process of change.
You can gain valuable perspective, open up more possibilities, and benefit from potent and elegant ways to overcome hurdles and improve your life experience.
- What are your New Year resolutions?
- How are you going about turning them into reality?
- What challenges are you having to overcome?
I’d love to hear from you!
Please drop me a line, if you’d like to share, or seek support.
Love and blessings,
P.S. Where would we be without January sales?!
There’s a Special January Offer on all my online courses and remote sessions (phone or Skype). Enjoy discounted rates when you book:
- A Touch of Magic: special blend of intuitive counselling and various types of energy work to give you insights, help you shift blocks, and enhance your ability to manifest the experiences you desire.
- Introduction to Tantra: overview, fundamental concepts, and everything you need to know to start your Tantric practice.
- Ultimate Connection Life & Relationship Coaching: whether motivated by a great dream for your future, or a great challenge in your past or present, we’ll get to the heart of it and find ways to free your Soul.
- Dream Your Self Whole: Foundational Training in Shamanic Dream Work: four videos, notes and a worksheet to get you started with shamanic dream work. You’re then invited to join the Shamanic Dream Circle group and take part in next-level training — starting with a FB live training + Q & A session on Tuesday, 17th January and the workshop “Dreaming for Life: Become a Conscious Dreamer” on Tuesday, 7th February.
(Offer valid until the end of January. No more than six sessions per person. Sessions booked now must be taken up by the 1st June 2017.)
“This morning I had a wonderfully insightful energetic clearing session with Elena where I was taken on a mythic journey through layers of old resistance and programs blocking my abundance and heart/love potential. During the session, I received soooooooo many downloads of helpful energies to inspire my journey into the coming year 2017. After the session, I really feel more alive, expanded, open and clearer to follow my true heart path. This was such a great gift, thank you Elena.” — Steve Nobel, author, coach, founder of Soul Matrix Healing, ex-director of Alternatives.
P.P.S. Evolution is not a solitary process! Join one of the upcoming events, connect with the community of heart-centered evolutionaries, men and women who wish to share and expand both heart and mind:
- “Cacao Connections: Cacao Ceremony and New Year Celebration” takes place on Friday, 27th January. It’s a very auspicious time to dance our intentions around the New Moon and Chinese New Year. I get a feeling it’ll be one of most joyful gatherings to date… Book your place here.
- “New Moon and Chinese New Year Portal” Women’s Circle gathering and shamanic ritual takes place on Saturday, 28th January. An intimate setting, where Sisters work with the energies of this time, supporting each other and weaving our special heart magic. Book your place here.
- “Dreaming for Life: Become a Conscious Dreamer” workshop, continuing our shamanic dream work training for enhanced self-awareness, emotional healing, personal and spiritual development on Tuesday, 7th February. Book your place here.
Questions? Feel free to e-mail me, or call me on 07576 366 197 to discuss.